a Half of a Century Plus a Decade
(Or the ramblings of an old man )
This past May it happened -- it was the big, large 60 for me. People have asked me what's it like to be 60. I tell them that it is by far the best age I have ever been. They say, "Come on, get real, you can't be serious." Actually I've never been more serious in all my life. Let me explain.
Ten years ago my life was a mess, to put it mildly. It was then that I started learning about the grace of God. Oh, I knew the word, but I had little experience of it. As my friend Jack Fagan says, I knew the words to the song, but I didn't know the tune. Since then I have been learning more and more about the grace of God and how to live in it and enjoy it. I am convinced it is the secret to living the abundant Christian life. Nine years ago I learned the truth that set me free. It was as if I had been in a dark room all of my life falling over things, running into things, breaking things, hurting people and myself and then the lights were turned on and I could see clearly. Life made sense. I could see where to go and what to do and I could do it -- I was free! Learning about grace has been a process. At first it was like I had been standing on the beach all my life admiring the ocean in front of me and then I stepped into it up to my ankles. Then over the years I waded in up to my knees and then my waist and now I can even swim in it some, but even though I'm in it there is a vast, limitless ocean of grace all around me. You could say that I am learning to grow in grace.
For 50 years of my life a standing joke among my friends was "Mike hasn't decided what he wants to be when he grows up". Now I absolutely love what I am doing, the ministry I am in and the people I work with on staff. I have the great privilege of sharing truth and grace with hurting people and seeing God set them free. It doesn't get any better than that. I have many friends who love me and accept me and encourage me even knowing my failures and flaws. I have people who do what has got to be one of the most amazing things in the world. They send me financial gifts of support regularly from which I receive all of my income to do this ministry to which God has called me. When I think that we have lived on support for 12 years now, it blows me away. For the first six years, I complained about having to raise support. But then I did an in-depth Bible study on it and God showed me that it was biblical and that it was his plan to provide for us that way. I can truthfully say that it is a blessing and a privilege to live on support. Julia and I are extremely grateful for those who support us with finances and with prayer. We couldn't do this ministry without them.
I have learned (really) that apart from Christ I can do nothing and it is not my responsibility to shape anybody up or make anyone do right. That really takes a lot of pressure off in ministry and life, not to mention marriage. I have learned that it is not up to me to make it happen, but to believe God and trust Him and even if it doesn't happen the way I would like, it's ok. I am more fulfilled and content than I have ever been in my life. My marriage is by far the best it has ever been. Julia and I have been happily married for 10 years, but we got married 24 years ago. It took awhile to get here, but it was well worth it. I have six fantastic grandchildren that I adore and we live just 15 minutes from them. They really light up my life and bring a lot of joy into it. At my 57th birthday party, my daughter Audrey asked me, "Dad, what is the greatest lesson you have learned in 57 years?" It is that I have learned I can look to Christ to meet all my needs. Because of that no one can touch what I need to be loved, accepted, secure, valuable, fulfilled, content etc., etc. All I need is my relationship with Christ and no man can touch that. I have learned that things, possessions, money, status, position, do not have anything to do with real joy, peace, freedom, contentment, fulfillment and the things that really count in life. God has truly given me joy that no man can take away.
The reason 60 is the best age of my life is that I have learned that the Christian life is all about grace. I have learned that it is always all of grace. I have learned that it is not about me, but about God. That it is not about what I do, but what God does, has done and will do. I have learned that the problem is not you and me, but the lies we believe. I have learned that the answer is not what we do, but what God has done through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I have learned that they key to living the abundant Christian life that Christ came to give us is acting on the basis of the TRUTH (what God says), regardless of my feelings. I have learned that when God says I am a child of God and have everything I need for life and godliness it is true, regardless of my circumstances. I have learned that when God says I am dead to sin and alive to God, that is truth, regardless of my feelings. I have learned that God has done everything necessary for you and me to live in peace freedom, joy and victory. I have learned that it is not about achieving, but receiving the grace of God. And it took 60 years for me learn all this. For those who want a formula to live the Christian life, it is Romans 5:17 - "... how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." Do you want to reign in life? You can and will as you learn to receive God's abundant provision of grace (that's the how to) and his gift of righteousness (that's your identity in Christ and who you really are). As a guy in prison wrote me who had found freedom, "I finally got the who and the do right". The who is who you are in Christ as a new creation. The do is NOT what you and I do, but what God has done and He has done everything necessary for us to walk in peace, joy, freedom and victory.